Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS)

I saw Dr. B. Angus today, a chronic fatigue specialist in Oxford. After a fairly detailed chat, it seems I do fit into the CFS group. This means I will be transferred to work with a CFS clinic and given my own 'personal trainer'. There is not a quick and fast cure - they will use CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) with what is called 'pacing'. This is living your life on a daily basis in a more planned and structured way to maximise the amount of energy you have. I have to admit I am apprehensive, nervous and perhaps a little scared, just because I am not sure exactly what this therapy will entail and whether it will actually work for me. The Dr. tried to reassure me that 70-80% of people recover but because I am not sure how it is all going to happen I can't feel convinced just yet. One thing I know is that it will take a lot of time and effort on my part and starngely, my sis-in-law has just been diagnosed with it as well so we can try and encourage each other. If you want to know what CFS is, it is like ME but the explanation can be found here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chronic_fatigue_syndrome

I was also recommended two books to read: CFS - The Facts by Mike Sharpe and Overcoming Fatigue by Mary Burgess.

Got the snots. Boo.

I've got a chest infection virus thing and its a bit pants. Just have to rest until it gets better... guess I'll be sleeping in the spare room tonight! *sniff*

3rd Neuropsychologist appointment

Have been feeling a bit shite all day due to a chesty cough which feels like I have swallowed acid. No, I am not being a drama queen, it really hurts! Anyway saw the psychologist and it was helpful actually, we worked through giving some structure to my day and when to do things when I have energy etc. It sounds logical and it is; but when you're tired you get distracted very easily and instead of concentrating fully on one thing you end up using cider vinegar in your cooking instead of sweet cider! Also, sometimes you become unsure of what you should be doing and whether you should allow anytime to do something you enjoy, especially when you know your Boyf. has been working hard all day again. Anyway so despite feeling crappy physically, I do feel a bit more positive. Its like I can start thinking about longer term goals again too. I am hopeful about an idea to start doing vintage parties with my big sis so I might start putting some research time into that. This week though and next week are going to be very important to me as this Wednesday I am seeing the chronic fatigue specialist (CFS) and I am hoping I might get some answers from him or at least get somewhere nearer to knowing where I stand as far as how I will need to live my life from now on. Next Wednesday I am seeing the neurosurgeon which again I am hoping will give me some answers to my physical well being. I just want to be able to make some firm decisions about my life and about where I am headed.

Cups and Saucers

I have fallen in love once again with the good old fashioned cup and saucer. A cup of good english tea supped from a tea cup tastes quite different than drunk from a mug. I like the fact its not too chunky on your lip and you don't feel bloated trying to drink a pint of tea. Of course if you want more - just keep the teapot warm. I love my teapot from Whittards. I bought a pretty plain white one which makes 6 cups but they have a gorgeous selection and all functional! That may sound a strange thing to say but having also recently bought a teapot from Cath Kidston which was totally disfunctional, I think it is important to make the point. They have teapots for one, two and six: http://www.whittard.co.uk/store/catalogue/China-P7000/Teapots-SC7001/
Oh. Having just said all that, if you choose a novelty teapot that looks like Big Ben or Red Telephone Box I'm not so sure it will perform well as a teapot - probably more of a mantlepeice display object if you like that sort of thing. One other thing I would like to recommend is trying different flavour tea's - we have all had the usual Tetley's or PG Tips but having tried other flavours like Assam and Ceylon. Personally I think Ceylon makes the perfect cup. Boyf prefers Assam but we both enjoy a good cuppa. Don't spend a fortune on new cups and saucers though if you are looking to join in my fun - you can usually find some really lovely ones in the local charity shop or from a second hand market. You can usually pick 6 up for about £6. I don't think thats going to break the bank is it? Otherwise why not look on ebay? Enjoy! As an afterthought, I bought some cups from Oxfam yesterday which cost me £4.99... I have just looked them up and you can buy them for £20: http://www.etsy.com/listing/69249289/vintage-queen-anne-kismet-bone-china now thats awsome.

Not too hot.

This week I have mostly been.... well, pooped actually. Sleepy week this week, looked after Littlest neice yesterday morning got home about 3 then slept until 6 and I am stiiill tired. *Humph*. Doing boring cleaning the oven and washing today, but trying to get the creative juices flowing as the wallpaper samples have arrived and I think for me there is definitely 2 hot favourites. Just have to wait and see what Boyf says.... I need to get making some stuff, I am tired but also bored. Ah well, such is life. Going to go to Henley tomorrow to some second hand and rare bookshops with my Ma - we have a couple of books they might be interested in. Maybe I'll get some inspiration there, you never know!

Got the new bed - time to decorate.

Yes! We have got our new bed - its King size, brown leather and we got a new sumptuious mattress to go on it. It will be a little bit of heaven. So to complete our bit of heaven it's time to get rid of the cream and brown theme in our bedroom and move to something a bit more... relaxing, rejuvenating and happy. We are going for yellow! One wall will have wall paper and the others will be painted. Wallpaper we like:


 http://www.wallpaperdirect.co.uk/basket.php?add=80278&sample=1

Oooh can't wait til its done. Gonna get some match pots today and wait for the wallpaper samples to turn up.

Having a cooking revelation!

Even if I do say so myself, I am very proud of myself at the moment - I have been cooking up a storm most nights and managed not to burn anything either! I admit its mainly thanks to Jamie Olivers 30 minute meals but goddammit those recipes work! I definitely recommend it and even when you think hmmm I'm not sure about that flavour going with that... trust in the Oliver, he does know what he's doing. It always seems to taste delicious. For those of you bored of eating chicken every day, you should try the fish bake recipe which involves salmon steaks and tiger prawns.... and the sticky scallops recipe too. Me and Boyf were very pleasantly surprised by both and whats nice is that it looks really pretty before you eat it too, I think if it looks like a feast for the eyes it will be a tasty feast on the taste buds too.
Jamie Oliver's Meals in Minutes: A Revolutionary Approach to Cooking Good Food Fast

Tonight I am making marinated pork medallions with baby leaf salad and mash potato. Yum!

To get married or not to get married; that is the question.

Ok, so if your Boyf. said to you, you could have a £2000 new wardrobe of clothes amd a siberian cat, would you take that instead of getting married? I think I would have to consider it carefully.

Centerparcs Longleat

Centerparcs is a lovely place and Longleat is beautiful. Our woodland lodge was modern and clean and nice enough to be happy to stay at home in in the evening. However, the parc itself I thought was a bit expensive. The swiming pool which is free is fantastic, but unless you want to do that every day you will end up spending out a lot of money on the other activites available. We thought we would play crazy golf one day and I presumed it would be no more than £4 each, £17 was the actual cost. Just for 2 of us. They have a huge amount of activities on offer which all sound great fun but they all cost alot of money and if you want to use the spa don't expect to pay less than £40 to £50 each and that is without any treatments. The pancake house was also a disappointment. We went on Shrove tuesday and I chose a traditional lemon and sugar pancake. I don't know about you but I expect pancakes to be quite thin - this pancake was more like an omlette. Far too thick and it soaked up the lemon and sugar like a sponge so you could only taste bland mixture. Not good. I think you would be better off renting a lovely self catering cottage in the area.There is plenty to do and places to visit. We took ourselves off to Cheddar Gorge for the day - a very pretty and quaint village which happens to have some very famous caves in it! Definitely stop in at Derricks tea shop and have the tea and scones - the specialist teas are fabulous and the scones are delicious. We were almost tempted to go twice in the same day it was that good. The caves are fascinating and you get a gadget which you tap numbers into to hear info on the caves - don't feel obliged to listen to all of them though - I thought some were less informative than others and to be honest slightly on the boring waffly side! If you do go, ask one of the guides to point out a horse shoe bat - they are quite rare but they like living there. They are tiny creatures and you won't spot them unless a guide shows you with their torch. Bath is also only half an hour away and it is well worth a visit - they have a lovely mixture of boutique shops and a modern shopping centre and of course the new bath spa which is a bit expensive but I thought well worth the money.

GOOD NEWS! CFS Specialist appt has arrived!

Oh yay! I have my Chronic fatigue specialist appointment through, 30th March, so not long to wait... I suppose I shouldn't hope for too much to come from it but I can't help myself. Today is a particularly bad day. My sister popped in at 9am before she went to work which got me up - a good thing - so after she left I finished my breakfast and decided to face the day. 'I will just clean up the kitchen and hoover downstairs before I shower' I thought to myself. This I accomplished. Unfortunately although in the back of my mind I knew I wasn't quite feeling right, after doing this cleaning I suddenly felt completely drained. I am now back in bed, its like I can barely move... I know I can but its an effort. Even typing this is not very comfortable. I have had to cancel my sisters coming to visit me this afternoon because I know all I need to do is re-charge my batteries or it will be worse tomorrow. Hopefully I will feel up to doing some small creative activity for myself this afternoon like making some birthday cards or some such thing....I'll see how it goes....

Next psychologist appointment

2nd appt tomorrow to see the neuropsychologist. The last visit confirmed that I am not going mad and basically just find normal life difficult due to extreme fatigue. It's ok when I am taking everything slowly, I feel quite fine and normal, although I know everything is not normal because I'm not going to work and I know I would feel quite different if I started working again. Thing is.. I want to work again - I want to go to work and feel the pride of being independant. I also want to earn money, my own money which I can spend guilt free on whatever I like! This is what will drive me mad.

Can someone please fix my head for me so I can be normal again. I feel quite miserable about it.

1st Neuropsychologist appointment!

So I wasn't sure what this was going to entail. Here is a link that explains what neuropsychology is: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neuropsychology

It was quite interesting, we started with a chat about my medical history and then I was asked to do some tests, it was kind of weird it reminded me of the psychology tests you see on TV... I was shown a picture which I was asked to copy exactly and was timed doing it. This was followed by listening to 2 stories which the psychologist read out to me and I had to repeat back what details I could remember. There were other tests and I will get a report back. It will be interesting to see if there is any particular damage to my brain. It was good and it made me feel positive but then I had a bad evening with Boyf. and it went full circle. Today I feel totally drained - its like the stress of the evening before has completely zapped me. Its all sorted out now but physically I feel pants.